George Santos Elected Speaker of House in Startling Upset for McCarthy (satire) Trump’s endorsement of controversial Queens congressman as a “trustworthy billionaire” wins 218 GOP votes

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Washington DC, January 6, 2023:  Kevin McCarthy has lost the House leadership battle to incoming New York freshman congressman George Santos. 

“Billionaire George has proven that he’s got what it takes to lead a Republican majority,” proclaimed former President Donald Trump, in a surprise New Year’s Day push that resulted in 218 votes for Santos.

“Unlike faker Ron DeSanctimonious,” Trump declared, “George is a real Latino leader for our times. He’s a perfect, loyal, Republican, a true-believing Christian, and a hero of 9-11, where his mother, a Jewish holocaust survivor, died tragically, despite George rushing into the burning building and saving dozens of other people from certain death.”

Congress Member Marjorie Greene of Georgia worked all night New Year’s eve making visiting House members at parties and in their homes rounding up votes with an AR-15 assault rifle and electric prod. She denied rumors that she is held the families of a number of legislators hostage until they had voted for Santos. 

“To kill socialism, we need party unity this week, not partying hedonists buying dildos at CVS,” Greene tweeted. “George is a true rags to riches success story, making a billion dollars on Wall Street and giving half of it away to charity before deciding to devote his career to saving our country from Communists, pedos & liars!”

Colorado Congress Member Lauren Boebert cast her vote for Santos with the comment, “Unlike RINO McCarthy, we can all trust George. Trust, integrity and truthiness is a rare commodity in Washington these days.”

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Jonathan Greenberg

Jonathan Greenberg is editor and owner of the award winning Sonoma Independent website, which serves the public interest with insight, solutions and advocacy. Jonathan is an investigative financial journalist with 40 years of experience with national publications, including Forbes, The Washington Post, The New York Times, New York, Town & Country. Mother Jones and The New Republic. During the past few years, Jonathan wrote four of the most widely-read exposes about Donald Trump’s career published in the Washington Post. Jonathan was the notorious Forbes 400 reporter who taped two long calls in 1984 in which Trump pretended to be John Barron. Jonathan’s Washington Post expose about this was the subject of monologues on Colbert, the Daily Show and Seth Meyers. Jonathan has appeared live on a dozen major news shows, including on CNN with Chris Cuomo, Erin Burnett and Don Lemon, on MSNBC with Ari Berber and Ali Velshi, and NPR's On the Media. A fuller bio and links to Jonathan's work can be found at JonathanGreenberg.com. Jonathan is a new media entrepreneur and was the founder of Gist.com, an acclaimed Web 1.0 company that won the first annual Webby Awards in 1997. In 2006, Jonathan founded Progressive Source Communications, the parent company of The Sonoma Independent. Progressive Source is a public interest communications company that creates multimedia websites, videos and digital advocacy campaigns that build public awareness of solutions that serve the common good.

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