Musk, Diagnosed with Billionaire Victimhood Insurrectionitis, Guts Twitter to Help GOP Steal Election (satire) World’s richest man proclaims, “I, not Trump, am the most persecuted person on earth,” and then opens Twitter to fascist propaganda days before midterms

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San Francisco, October 31, 2022. The ghost of Nikola Tesla tonight disclosed that Elon Musk has been stricken with the rare billionaire strain of Insurrectionitis, a disease that replaces rational thought with a deep hatred of women’s equality, the rights of Blacks to vote, and democracy, along with violence-inciting support for Trump and the fascist wing of the Republican Party.

This, Tesla disclosed during the podcast of a San Francisco seance, was the reason that Musk fired thousands of employees, including, as NBC reported “many people whose jobs were to keep Twitter from being overwhelmed by prohibited content such as hateful conduct and targeted harassment,” as well as misinformation, just days before the midterm election.

As satirically reported here in the Sonoma Independent, highly contagious political insurrectionitis was the mysterious infection which hospitalized Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas last spring. Thomas reportedly caught the fast-spreading OmniCoup variance from his wife Ginny, who has been known to be a super-spreader of the disease since Donald Trump’s first controversial, Putin-aided election in November 2016.

Reached for comment about his controversial first move as the new owner of Twitter, Musk referred reporters to a late afternoon tweet that stated,

“On behalf of all true Americans, I am taking Twitter back from George Soros and his elite socialist internationalist media intellectuals and their dark-skinned co-conspirators. You know who I mean!” 

A record 6 billion of Musk’s Twitter followers retweeted his words, shattering all records for the social media site.

“No, snowflake, they are not Russian bots,” Musk tweeted in response to a reporter questioning the number of new followers. 

“Wealthy White Christian males are the most discriminated against group on earth. I bought Twitter so I would not need to leave this planet to find someone who likes me!”

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Jonathan Greenberg

Jonathan Greenberg is the editor and publisher of the award winning Sonoma Independent, which he founded in 2015 to serve the public interest with insight, solutions and advocacy.

In January, 2024, Jonathan launched the StopTrumpDictatorship.com Project to create and market compelling YouTube ads, as well as the Progressive Source PAC to fund them. The effort’s first project was the Dems Vote Haley in SC video, which was viewed 400,000 times in blue counties, contributing to Haley outperforming polls by 10 points.

Jonathan has been an investigative legal and financial journalist with 40 years of experience contributing to national publications. During the past six years, Jonathan wrote four of the most widely-read exposes in the Washington Post about Donald Trump. Jonathan has known Trump longer than any journalist writing today. He was head of research for the first Forbes 400 when Trump conned him into putting him on the list. The notorious phone calls Trump taped pretending to be John Barron was the subject of monologues on Colbert, the Daily Show and Seth Meyers. Jonathan has appeared live on more than a dozen major news shows, including on CNN with Erin Burnett, Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo, on MSNBC with Ari Berber and Ali Velshi, and NPR's On the Media.

Jonathan was a Web 1.0 pioneer. In 1996 he started Gist Communications, a disruptive new media company that competed successfully with News Corp’s TV Guide Online. In 1997, Gist was one of just 14 websites in the world to be named a winner of the First Annual Webby Awards in San Francisco. Following Gist and the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center, Jonathan served, in 2002 and 2003, as Policy Director for the New York City Council’s Select Committee on Lower Manhattan Redevelopment, where he directed media and public policy campaigns and was the city council’s lead analyst for federal relief programs.

In 2007, Jonathan founded Progressive Source Communications, a public interest digital advocacy company that has created scores of impactful videos and campaigns to build awareness of solutions that serve the common good. Progressive Source owns the Sonoma Independent.

Jonathan is a graduate of Yale Law School's Masters Degree in Law fellowship program. A fuller bio and links to Jonathan's work can be found at JonathanGreenberg.com.

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