San Francisco, October 31, 2022. The ghost of Nikola Tesla tonight disclosed that Elon Musk has been stricken with the rare billionaire strain of Insurrectionitis, a disease that replaces rational thought with a deep hatred of women’s equality, the rights of Blacks to vote, and democracy, along with violence-inciting support for Trump and the fascist wing of the Republican Party.
This, Tesla disclosed during the podcast of a San Francisco seance, was the reason that Musk fired thousands of employees, including, as NBC reported “many people whose jobs were to keep Twitter from being overwhelmed by prohibited content such as hateful conduct and targeted harassment,” as well as misinformation, just days before the midterm election.
As satirically reported here in the Sonoma Independent, highly contagious political insurrectionitis was the mysterious infection which hospitalized Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas last spring. Thomas reportedly caught the fast-spreading OmniCoup variance from his wife Ginny, who has been known to be a super-spreader of the disease since Donald Trump’s first controversial, Putin-aided election in November 2016.
Reached for comment about his controversial first move as the new owner of Twitter, Musk referred reporters to a late afternoon tweet that stated,
“On behalf of all true Americans, I am taking Twitter back from George Soros and his elite socialist internationalist media intellectuals and their dark-skinned co-conspirators. You know who I mean!”
A record 6 billion of Musk’s Twitter followers retweeted his words, shattering all records for the social media site.
“No, snowflake, they are not Russian bots,” Musk tweeted in response to a reporter questioning the number of new followers.
“Wealthy White Christian males are the most discriminated against group on earth. I bought Twitter so I would not need to leave this planet to find someone who likes me!”
